Fun facts about my best bud, Humphree!

Hi you guys! How’s it going? My brain’s a little fried from our first official Neon Wiener Videogame Tournament. I think Humps, Dagger, and I played videogames for eight hours straight yesterday. I totally thought I’d crush my buddies, but the score is pretty even so far. Humphree is beating me and Dags, but only by a little. I gotta catch up today!

Speaking of Humphree, it dawned on me that you guys don’t know a lot about my best bud. Which is kind of weird, because he’s pretty much the coolest alien dude ever. So, here’s the dealio on Humphree…

Fast facts on my best bud and co-captain, Humphree

• Humphree is a Bronkle, which a race of large, warrior creatures. His home planet is Bronkellia.
• He was a space pirate on the ship “The Looting Star.” Humps doesn’t like to talk about why he quit being a space pirate. It has to do with me. I promised I wouldn’t talk about it. It’s kind of his story to tell, you know?
• The big guy often has trouble pronouncing Earth words. You should hear him try to say “California,” “apple pie,” or “discombobulated.”
• He played professional Agony Ball for a short time. Ouch.
• Humphree considers himself to be a bit of a ladies’ man, and he’s eager to give me advice about girls. Not that we see a lot of girls out here in space. Dagger doesn’t count.
• Need something moved? Humphree is super crazy strong. He can crush huge, heavy stuff with his bare hands, and could easily lift a piano. Or a car.
• And last but not least, Humphree is your guy for hot sauce concoctions. Helio jalapeños are his favorite for heavy-duty heat, but he’ll try anything in a new hot sauce recipe!

Humphree is pretty much the most awesome best friend ever. I can talk to him about anything, even mushy or sad stuff that makes me feel all awkward and weird. But mostly we just have lots of fun together, because he’s rad like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go kick my best friend’s butt at Super Moon Ninja Death Jab!

See ya tomorrow,

Cosmoe

PS - Did you catch that someone spelled Humphree's name wrong on that artwork above? Oops! Wasn't me!